Most of who have struggled with compulsive food and weight issues hate our bodies. And we may even hate ourselves. It's time to stop this craziness! Beating yourself up does you absolutely no good. It drags down your life and enjoyment, and, ironically, leads to more compulsive eating!
At some point you have to learn to love and accept yourself for exactly who you are today. Many of us are afraid to do that, for fear that we will lose our motivation to improve ourselves. Happily, a solid self-acceptance is a great long-term foundation upon which to base our self-improvement efforts.
Live in the present. Don't get caught up pining away for a former you. Don't spend time fantasizing about a future you. Fully embrace present-you. Yes. Just as you are today. You would do it for somebody else, right? Why not give yourself the same good stuff you give to your best friend? No matter how anyone else treats you, you can treat yourself with pride and dignity. It's your choice. It's completely within your control. And nobody can take it away from you!
Start buying and wearing clothes that fit and flatter you. No more wearing old clothes that don't fit anymore, or that you are hoping you'll fit into again. Get rid of the drab, baggy, "invisible" crap. Dress for the present-you that you love and care for greatly. Live it up! Extreme Makeover has shown us that you can take any body type, any kind of face and hair, and pick the right things to bring out the most beauty.
Get proper medical attention for your current health issues. Don't say, "Well, when I lose weight I won't have that problem anymore. That may very well be true. But today you need to treat the problems you have today. It's part of loving and caring for yourself.
Be careful about weighing yourself. For most of us, our self-esteem is inextricably linked to the number that pops up on the scale. It has the power to tell us whether we can feel good about ourselves or not. This is just wrong! The scale should be used for one thing only. Information. It should give us some objective feedback about how our habits have been affecting our body. Even so, there are a myriad of things that can affect our weight from day to day - salt, exercise, water retention, monthly cycles, medicine, etc., so daily weighing tends to give unreliable information, and can increase our obsession with food and weight. (It's almost impossible to gain or lose a pound of fat in a day since you have to have have a 3,500 calorie surplus or deficit relative to the calories you burn.) Once a week or once a month can give you more reliable information about what's really happening with your body. And make sure you are weighing at the same time of the day, same clothes, etc. That way you can compare apples with apples.
Get comfortable with your sexuality. Our bodies are inherently sexual. Don't run away from it. Some people remain overweight as a way to hide their sexuality, or to avoid dealing with it. If you're afraid of your sexual urges, or other people's sexual advances, there are ways to deal with these issues other than covering yourself in layers of fat.
Some people remain fat as a way to be invisible. They don't like attention, or being noticed. Please get help with your shyness and insecurity. That's a much better option than ruining your body.
Lastly, we must deal with the issue of self-sabotage. Many of us say we want to lose weight. But when push comes to shove we're uncomfortable with success. Do we deserve to be thin? Attractive? Healthy? Happy? Some of us, unfortunately, are more comfortable with misery. We've lived there for a long time, and we know how to get by in this well-worn rut. As much as we despair about our "hopeless" situation, if nothing changes we will endure it, just like we have for years. Success is different. It is change. We may not know how to be happy. We may worry that if we're successful more will be expected from us. (Or, as mentioned before, we'll garner too much attention.) What reasons do you have for sabotaging your progress in this program, in this way of life?
Loving your body and your self is completely up to you. Why not give yourself this gift that you so freely give to others?
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